I was embarrassed…very embarrassed. I was frustrated…very frustrated. I learned something crucial in this next incident: in order to save you from embarrassment and an awkward situation, Japanese people in general rather not say anything at all! During the hot and humid weather of September, I had to wake up one Saturday morning and join one of the schools I regularly visit for their annual undokai, commonly known for foreigners as the sport festival. I recall that
My coworkers and I got to the hotel where the celebrations were going to take part. I wore jeans and a nice shirt that would give me a sophisticated look but yet still casual. There was a draw to decide where everyone was going to sit. Fortune decided that I would sit right in between my two bosses. I said to myself:” Great! What am I going to say now?! Well it is a good opportunity to connect with them.” Until half of the evening I was mingling and talking with my bosses and other coworkers while they kept on filling my glass with beer.
The joyful guests started having mini presentations and games involving everyone in the room. One of the presentations was a choreography that the kids had done earlier in their endokai. My bosses urged me to join since they had seen me performed the choreography before (I had seen it several times already). Since it was out of the question to disappoint them, I reluctantly stood up, gave my camera to one of them to take pictures and started performing along with the other dancers. After 2 or 3 minutes of dancing the music came to end simultaneously ending my own torture.
I sat back where between my superiors and got my camera back. I realized that not knowing which button to press, my boss had made a movie instead of taking pictures. And this is what I saw. A couple of Japanese performing a dance along with a foreigner whose underwear was showing throughout the whole thing! Aaaaah! First reaction, DELETE! Second reaction, pull on my shirt and rush to the bathroom in order to remedy to the situation. Needless to say that I was fuming and all I wanted to do at this point is to rush back home.
The third reaction to this event was to throw out any underwear I did not like or that were not low rise. In a way, it cleaned up my drawers as well. After “Operation Getting Rid Of” was completed, I sat down and thought about what happened couple of hours before. By not telling me about my ‘wardrobe malfunction’, the people around me were being nice to me and were trying to save me from being uncomfortable. Embarrassment and shame are two of the worst concepts for Japanese to experience. As long ago as in the Edo period, when the Samurai were still prevalent in Japan, if one would be embarrassed, shamed, or a loser, they would comply with the Bushido, the code of the Samurais, and transpierced their body with a sword thus committing suicide to restore their dignity.
Of course, I will not commit suicide. Yes, my pride took a hit. I learned in this experience another aspect of Japanese’s way of thinking and way of dealing with certain situations. If I had been told that my underwear was showing, I would have probably not known about another intricacy of the Japanese culture. At least not yet!
[1] Big party organized by offices in
1 comment:
Yes, that type of situation often takes place in life. Your analysis - comparison with the way of samurai warriors is excellent. Your coworkers are kind, behaving as if nothing happening - in order not to embarass you. I wonder what I would want to do if the same things happens to me. Maybe dissapper completely?
Rocky
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